Author: Synclaritycoachingpractice

Happy Days.

I’ll be honest, my brain is fried. I should be in Florida right now however Rona has stopped play.

My body has been telling me that I need to down tools and get some rest. I’ve not been sleeping well so am sleep deprived but also recognise that my brain needs a rest too. It’s need to just be free of any thinking.

So today I’ve given myself permission, (not that I need it), however all plans have been laid aside and I am having a “Super lazy Sunday” nothing needs to be done today that can’t wait for a couple of days, for today it’s just REST.

Happy Sunday peeps enjoy and listen to your body and don’t forget your brain.

To be crystal clear, when I say that ‘black lives matter’, beit brown, beige, fair, dark, chocolate or caramel. Do not respond to me by saying ‘all lives matter’. Yes they do all matter, I KNOW that however, until black lives matter to you we can’t get to the all. This is not about the all right now it’s about the few who don’t matter. It’s gonna take one step at a time, this will not be rushed.

Let’s pause right here and think and talk about Racism the virus. I can’t see it on you, but I can feel it by how you behave, how you treat me and by your actions.

This right here won’t simple go away. If I am offending you in anyway, ask yourself why? Sit with that emotion for a while, the answer will come.

Know that if you were in my shoes right now and I call you friend I would be standing for you and by you. That’s what real friends do.

My global colleagues have been reaching out and asking me in their best American tone .. ‘Jan how are you doing’? I work for a large US company and the hurricane which is George Floyd is deep as it is wide. Emotions are high, there are tears, there’s anger, there’s disbelief. There is fear, fear of being stopped by the police and what may ensue afterwards. The coaching conversation on how to react and behave if you are stopped.

I take time to process things. My initial response to grave situations is to react. How can I save this situation, by default I try to find a solution. My emotions take time to catch up. (That’s me). I am rendered useless because I can’t save or fix this one here.

My US colleague articulate and voice how they are feeling. They do it so well. I realise that their words for me, some resonate some don’t because it’s a lived experience. I am in the UK, I was born here, my daughters are born here, and my experience is somewhat different. I am a child of immigrant parents from Jamaica. (By the way, they were invited as part of the commonwealth to come to Britain for a better life and to help rebuild Great Britain).

Thankfully, I don’t see on British streets a police with his knee in someone’s neck choking him until his body becomes limp and he dies. People pleading on his behalf to ease up to no avail.
I do remember UK incidents like that of Cherry Grose and Stephen Lawrence.

What I do / have experienced here in the UK is a subtle form of Racism. It’s something one can feel but no where near as blatant as in the US. On some occasions I’ve asked myself ‘did that just happen?’ The morning after the Brexit vote springs to mind. I was clearly an immigrant that morning!!

For fear of being labelled the angry black woman or accused of having a chip on my shoulder, I have conformed as my parents did so I live another day and try to get on and live in peace and not pieces. This stuff can give you a major head wreck if you let it. And that’s on top of everything else one has to deal with. I am ever the optimist and believe in the goodness of mankind.
I belive in God and that Love in everything is a key.

What this time has taught me / brought to full light is this. The rules sometimes unwritten, have been applied differently to me than to others, that is MY reality. And with all my optimism for life that is my truth.

People in authority and or leadership have the power to do whatever they deem fit in that moment and nothing I say or do changes these decisions. It feels unfair but injustice prevails.

I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have in my life who are real and true. I encourage you to not be silent on this matter, look into your hearts and express what you are feeing. Take a stand, this is an uncomfortable topic and we need to become comfortable talking about.

This morning I feel blessed because I am in the UK and not the US. I acknowledge that Racism is alive and healthy in pockets of the UK, in pockets of my community and in some people in my workplace.

I acknowledge and know that I am / have been treated differently that is my reality and I needed to acknowledge that fact to myself as part of my overall healing. Coaching has taught me that. And with you I share for your learning and growth and your healing.

Let’s stand together.

Stay blessed ❤️

From Brian G. Dyson – President and CEO, Coca-Cola Enterprises during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address Sept. 6, 1996

This resonates so very much.

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit … and you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or evenshattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for Balance in your life.

How?

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be pave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings!

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way…