Helping you to discover the very best U, you can be. Re-Think Your life and thrive.
Starting life from humble beginnings, the butterfly has long been a symbol of hope. Just as the lowly caterpillar emerges from its cocoon a new, magnificent creature, so, too will you emerge stronger from your darkest moments.
Trust and believe
Stay blessed x
As a Life Coach, my practice is filling up, and I thank the lord for that.
There are some common themes which are emerging and I share the following post with fellow parents.
Dear Parents, God parents and the extended village …
There are some conversations and topics which in 2023 are still deemed tabooed. Unless we are willing to talk about them openly and honestly, within the family circle, however uncomfortable they make us feel, we will never grow, things won’t change and the youngsters in our lives will continue to be ignorant of facts and consequences.
The reasons for not tabling some of these issues is fear, shame and not wanting to be venerable. Having to admit that we haven’t achieved some of the things in life we wanted to. Well it’s that time of life that we have to put on the big gurl and boy draws and dive in.
Our parents wouldn’t discuss and many things were brushed under the carpet or a blind eye turned. Apparently big people business!!! The consequences is people in mid life are having a royal midlife crisis and meltdown, crisis of identity, crisis of carrying all that baggage, secrets and stuff for decades.
Free our minds and the rest will follow. Don’t be trapped and caged by the past. Owning up to our sh1% is imperative, most of us did the best we could with what we knew and had, no man or woman is perfect. Too many of our young ones are suffering in silence and out loud.
As a parent and mother, I KNOW I have been complicit to some rubbish in the past and in my nieavity or not having the courage at the time allowed things to slide for a easier moment in life, but at what cost??
It’s a new day and a new dawn, lets commit to doing better than our parents because we can and because it’s the right thing to do.
Frankly I couldn’t care less if my children are gay, yep I said it. I would rather they come and talk to me about it than take their own life, the life I carried for 9 months and bore much pain to bring into this world. If as a friend you are going to stop talking to me or criticise me, that’s cool trust and believe I can deal with that. My children are worth more than a weak friendship.
If my children don’t want to get married that’s thier decisions, don’t want children so what. (Although I’d love grand children, just saying). Some of the things parents are focused on is not important in the scheme of things.
Ask the question is my child/children happy? are they thriving in their own way? Not OUR way thier way.
I say, swallow the pride and say sorry for not doing what we should have done or said in the moment. Say sorry for wrongs committed willingly and unwillingly, knowingly and unknowing. I hear people say it was not my intention, that’s not how I meant it, however the impact is real and lasting. Many times it’s not what we say, it’s how we say it and the tone used. As humans we can say some cruel things to our children and try to pass it off as a joke, if they are not laughing it’s probably not funny.
Too many young people are in a state right now, help where we can. These are serious times. I don’t want to loose another child because they could see no way out.
I’d rather weep now, big old ugly snotty tears now in the moment, for a day, a week or a month than having to console a parent or crying at a grave side. It takes a village to raise children make it a priority to talk with them rather than about them. Enquire what’s front of mind for them, simple listen and love them.
Remember no one gave us a manual on how to raise our children, no one told us if they were introvert or extrovert, some of them are damn hard work, we’ve had to make it up as we went along. So be gentle and compassionate with ourselves. Not so good parents it’s never too late to change and be better and do better. Good parents be even better, our kids need us more than ever.
Have a beautiful day and a productive week. If you see someone who doesn’t have a smile why not give them yours.
One ❤️
Jan xx
It’s International Women’s Week and traditionally this weekend has always been a busy and hectic one for me. It is the final weekend before an International Women’s Day (IWD) event, and I am always buzzing. My energy is high and even though some things would be going awry, I would be ready like eddy.
IWD holds a special place in my heart because it’s a day that celebrates women around the globe, and in spite of the political and economic backdrop, there is always something or someone to celebrate. Sometimes it’s the little things. Great relationships, friendships, mentorships, and all the other ships we could name.
I’ve recently celebrated my 60th birthday and I found myself in deep reflection, recalling my work journey of 40+ years. I am remembering events, conferences, courses, away days, networking events, scrumptious conversations, laugh-out moments, and a few Jonah days. I have recollected all the incredible women who have been with me during my career.
Over the years I’ve been the creator, leader, or participant of an IWD event or contributed to the panel, or was the keynote. This journey was certainly helped and fuelled by having a platform and growing my network. The foundation of this was making the decision to lead Connecting Women@IBM and later becoming part of Connecting Women In Technology with other tech giants. Connecting Women@IBM, firstly from 2008–2013, and because I loved it the first time around, I returned again in 2018-2021. It was an ambition to have this role as a full-time occupation and not merely as an add-on to my already busy day job. I clearly recall Tracey Gilbert, my then-mentor inviting me to consider the role. At age 45 it seemed a tad late in the day however, I grabbed the opportunity, and under her tutelage, support, and guidance, I was able to find my feet, start to build teams by location, become even more highly organized, find my voice and my own style.
My parents (especially my mother) were solid role models for me. My mother was an outstanding and nurturing lady, not only to her biological children but to all. She loved listening to radio 4, always reading and learning something new. In her 60’s she returned to night school to learn shorthand and sewing. She told me from early doors that I could be anything I wanted to be and to get an education because no one can take that away from you.
In the world of work being anything I wanted to be wasn’t as easy as she described it. In fact, it was way more difficult than how she described it, and it seemed to take so much longer than anticipated. She didn’t explain to me that bias is a reality and that it turns up in the most unusual places and spaces in the world of work. She also forgot to inform me that other people’s stereotypical thinking would be part of my journey. And … even if I were the best person for the job it didn’t mean I would get the job. It’s quite comical now but not so funny at the time of experience.
I look back on my journey and I am uber grateful, happy, and enormously pleased that I have been surrounded all this time by incredible women who showed up for me. They come with great energy (which has drowned out the negative naysayers), ladies with positive mindsets, ladies who offer solutions, and that valuable can-do attitude. They have also corrected me when I needed that too.
I wish to say … Happy International Women’s Day to those who have championed, challenged, coached, mentored, guided, been an enabler, encouraged and positively gossiped about me! Advocated, pushed hard in the background, and believed in me. Those who have taken on the role of ally, opened doors and quelled my doubts and fears and when required mopped my fevered brow and offered a cuppa. To those that I have collaborated with over the years and laughed out loud with. To those who showed me empathy and understanding as my manager’s and offered me a psychologically safe space for me to be me, THANK YOU.
Ladies the work is not done, let us keep on celebrating one another. Let us leave a legacy of good and something so much better for the young ones. To all the allies, (He4She), Thank you for holding the space, you’ll receive your accolades when it’s International Day for whatever category you associate with. Today it’s about the ladies – Happy International Women’s week and month.
Some of my IWD pictures are attached, if only I could have taken more.
Some images from past IWD.
I am beyond grateful that I have reached my 60th birthday. And a very happy birthday it was too.
My mantra is: – ‘every day in every way my life gets better and better’. And it simply does because I start my day intentionally. I have learned and know that whomever I chat with or meet during the day, our conversation will be a good one. I ensure it’s a great conversation because I may not meet that person ever again or have the opportunity to chat again.
I want to share the attached with you.
Steve Jobs died a billionaire at 56yrs of Pancreatic Cancer and here are his last words on the sick bed:
“I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes my life is the epitome of success.
However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.
At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realize that all the recognition and
wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.
Material things lost can be found. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost – “Life”.
Whichever stage in life we are at right now, with time, we will face the day when the curtain comes down.
Treasure Love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends…
Treat yourself well. Cherish others.
As we grow older, and hence wiser, we slowly realize that —
You will realize, your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.
Whether you fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down – you go down with it…
Therefore.. I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, have sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth, …. That is true happiness!!
Five Undeniable Facts of Life :
1. Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be Happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things not the price.
2. Best awarded words in London … “Eat your food as your medicines. Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food.”
3. The One who loves you will never leave you for another because even if there are 100 reasons to give up he or she will find one reason to hold on.
4. There is a big difference between a human being and being human.
Only a few really understand it.
5. You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, You have to manage!
NOTE: If you just want to Walk Fast, Walk Alone! But if you want to Walk Far, Walk Together!
Six Best Doctors in the World
I love the work of Robin Sharma and I’ve followed his work for nearly 15 years now. I always draw inspiration and wisdom from his words. As we come to the end of 2022 I share the attached with you.
My wish for you is that 2023 brings you a deeper sense of peace, happiness and clarity. May you be encouraged and remember that whilst remaining on this earth, we all have something to contribute and share.
Happy New Year.
Jan Sinclair – CEO of Synclarity Coaching Practise.
From Robin Sharma …
…I hope you’re healthy, happy and spirited as we end this year.
…I pray your family is doing wonderfully well and your friends are rising.
…I trust you’re taking some time to renew, rethink and replan.
I’m in an Italian hotel room as I write you this message. Fresh air fills the place, country music plays and I renew after 3 weeks of intense travel for leadership events.
Here are 50 lessons 2022 taught me:
1. Deep change is the perfect time to work on your heroism, fearlessness and service to many.
2. Getting really fit is the one habit that lifts every habit.
3. That fasting increases my energy exponentially, keeps my focus clear and saves on my grocery bills.
4. That few things bring you as much joy as creating “magical moments” for your family.
5. That other people’s opinions about you are none of your business.
6. That reading for one hour every single day is a beautiful pursuit in a world suffering from broken focus syndrome.
7. That being the hardest working person in the room is never a bad thing.
8. That we are nomadic as a species and our souls come alive when we travel.
9. That people have never been so interested in personal growth and professional mastery as now.
10. That Tuesdays With Morrie still moves my heart and reminds me of the brilliance of the human spirit.
11. That there are no extra people on the planet and that every one of us is equal, fascinating and wonderful.
12. That dogs are incredible creatures.
13. That just because some people can be mean doesn’t mean you should ever be mean.
14. That forgiveness is a productivity accelerator and understanding is the gateway into forgiveness.
15. That having that special someone who gets you, encourages you and truly loves you for who you are is a gargantuan blessing.
16. That rest is a secret success weapon and napping is the habit of giants.
17. That digital media is a gorgeous tool and a dangerous master.
18. That too many good people are destroying their futures watching inane videos on their smartphones.
19. That silence, solitude and stillness early every morning is one of the finest elite performance rituals.
20. That joy, peace and freedom is 1000x more valuable than fame, fortune and applause.
21. That most superheroes are anonymous.
22. That reading the news must be done in careful moderation.
23. That writing handwritten thank-you notes brings me great joy.
24. That doing the thing which is hardest to do is generally the thing which is wisest to do.
25. That I probably only have 25 summers left so I better upgrade my passion for life even more.
26. That seeing your work as a craft and devoting yourself to optimizing it is a vast source of inspiration.
27. That I need very few things to lead a beautiful life.
28. That rich conversations are more valuable than money.
29. That my continued habit of rising at 5AM has made all the difference.
30. That I’m happiest when I’m helping.
31. That life is too short to play small with our talent.
32. That three hour walks are fantastic.
33. That excuses are liars and fears are thieves.
34. That instead of shrinking to meet the size of our fears we absolutely must expand to match the magnitude of our dreams.
35. That a few super great friends are always better than a million social media followers.
36. That every prayer is heard.
37. That karma is incredibly real.
38. That fresh mint and ginger tea each morning while writing in a journal is an excellent habit.
39. That the true reward for masterwork isn’t public appreciation but who you became in the process of creating the output.
40. That you can’t inspire others until you’ve inspired yourself.
41. That elite productivity requires that you be alone a lot.
42. That if people laugh at your big idea it’s likely a marvellous idea.
43. That critics are degenerated dreamers.
44. That as one becomes more successful one must work hard to grow more humble as nothing fails like success.
45. That music is most important to getting things done and enjoying each day.
46. That within a problem lives a precious gift.
47. That people grow bigger when they are given deep listening and honest appreciation.
48. That sunbathing is fun.
49. That going the extra mile for clients and others never goes out of style.
50. That the world is small so be extremely kind.
Synclarity Coaching Practice 