My Blogs

I’ll be honest, my brain is fried. I should be in Florida right now however Rona has stopped play.

My body has been telling me that I need to down tools and get some rest. I’ve not been sleeping well so am sleep deprived but also recognise that my brain needs a rest too. It’s need to just be free of any thinking.

So today I’ve given myself permission, (not that I need it), however all plans have been laid aside and I am having a “Super lazy Sunday” nothing needs to be done today that can’t wait for a couple of days, for today it’s just REST.

Happy Sunday peeps enjoy and listen to your body and don’t forget your brain.

To be crystal clear, when I say that ‘black lives matter’, beit brown, beige, fair, dark, chocolate or caramel. Do not respond to me by saying ‘all lives matter’. Yes they do all matter, I KNOW that however, until black lives matter to you we can’t get to the all. This is not about the all right now it’s about the few who don’t matter. It’s gonna take one step at a time, this will not be rushed.

Let’s pause right here and think and talk about Racism the virus. I can’t see it on you, but I can feel it by how you behave, how you treat me and by your actions.

This right here won’t simple go away. If I am offending you in anyway, ask yourself why? Sit with that emotion for a while, the answer will come.

Know that if you were in my shoes right now and I call you friend I would be standing for you and by you. That’s what real friends do.

My global colleagues have been reaching out and asking me in their best American tone .. ‘Jan how are you doing’? I work for a large US company and the hurricane which is George Floyd is deep as it is wide. Emotions are high, there are tears, there’s anger, there’s disbelief. There is fear, fear of being stopped by the police and what may ensue afterwards. The coaching conversation on how to react and behave if you are stopped.

I take time to process things. My initial response to grave situations is to react. How can I save this situation, by default I try to find a solution. My emotions take time to catch up. (That’s me). I am rendered useless because I can’t save or fix this one here.

My US colleague articulate and voice how they are feeling. They do it so well. I realise that their words for me, some resonate some don’t because it’s a lived experience. I am in the UK, I was born here, my daughters are born here, and my experience is somewhat different. I am a child of immigrant parents from Jamaica. (By the way, they were invited as part of the commonwealth to come to Britain for a better life and to help rebuild Great Britain).

Thankfully, I don’t see on British streets a police with his knee in someone’s neck choking him until his body becomes limp and he dies. People pleading on his behalf to ease up to no avail.
I do remember UK incidents like that of Cherry Grose and Stephen Lawrence.

What I do / have experienced here in the UK is a subtle form of Racism. It’s something one can feel but no where near as blatant as in the US. On some occasions I’ve asked myself ‘did that just happen?’ The morning after the Brexit vote springs to mind. I was clearly an immigrant that morning!!

For fear of being labelled the angry black woman or accused of having a chip on my shoulder, I have conformed as my parents did so I live another day and try to get on and live in peace and not pieces. This stuff can give you a major head wreck if you let it. And that’s on top of everything else one has to deal with. I am ever the optimist and believe in the goodness of mankind.
I belive in God and that Love in everything is a key.

What this time has taught me / brought to full light is this. The rules sometimes unwritten, have been applied differently to me than to others, that is MY reality. And with all my optimism for life that is my truth.

People in authority and or leadership have the power to do whatever they deem fit in that moment and nothing I say or do changes these decisions. It feels unfair but injustice prevails.

I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have in my life who are real and true. I encourage you to not be silent on this matter, look into your hearts and express what you are feeing. Take a stand, this is an uncomfortable topic and we need to become comfortable talking about.

This morning I feel blessed because I am in the UK and not the US. I acknowledge that Racism is alive and healthy in pockets of the UK, in pockets of my community and in some people in my workplace.

I acknowledge and know that I am / have been treated differently that is my reality and I needed to acknowledge that fact to myself as part of my overall healing. Coaching has taught me that. And with you I share for your learning and growth and your healing.

Let’s stand together.

Stay blessed ❤️

From Brian G. Dyson – President and CEO, Coca-Cola Enterprises during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address Sept. 6, 1996

This resonates so very much.

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit … and you’re keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or evenshattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for Balance in your life.

How?

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each together.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be pave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings!

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you are going.

Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don’t be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don’t use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way…

I wrote this blog on the 31st December 2019 as we were moving into a new decade and 2020.  Given our current situation with COVID-19 I thought I would share this again.  Here at Synclarity Coaching Practice we are encouraging everyone to step forward with enhanced confidence, more wisdom and peace.

We find ourselves and our world in extra ordinary times. In fact life as we know it will never be the same. It’s 2020 and we’ll never forget this time. A time when a global pandemic is upon us.

This weekend will see churches, gyms, pubs, clubs, restaurants, cinemas and theatres close. A large percentage of the nation will be isolated at home, forced to sit with family or friends or home alone. This time will be exceedingly difficult for some people. To ensure ones sanity is preserved, parents are advised to make and stick to a routine in order to garner some type of normality, otherwise chaos will prevail. Parents will also see what their children are really like during the school week. Trust me when I say, teachers will become new best friends.

Being ever the optimist in my mind I fast forward for a moment. I ask the question, How will I/You personally look back on this time? Let’s just pause for a moment 🤔🤔

For me I’ve decided to use this time wisely, look on it as a gift. We’ll be spending a lot of time in the house. I plan not to get bored nor will I veg out entirely on reality TV. I’m creating my own reality.

Do you remember school when you had to go into isolation ? I know I wasn’t the only one, please! 🙄🙄You’d probably get 100 lines … ‘I will not talk when the teacher is talking’. (Yes I was a serial offender). Or ‘I must not forget my swimming costume’! Oh how I wish now I had persevered with the breath stroke. (Note to self, must re build confidence in water and swim better).

Sorry I digress … ‘I will not talk’ … I’d use the 2 pencil trick get the lines written super fast and spend the rest of the time day dreaming about my future. What would it be like when I grew up? Who would I marry? Actually back then it was more like, will anyone marry me, I was young. I spent the time even back then with some kind of plan.

Over the next few months during isolation, we have in our control our time. (Unless you are a key worker who will be pulled in all directions. And I thank you in advance for everything you do for the nation, you guys are extra ordinary every day because you save lives). PS: I’ll be asking Boris for a bonus for your guys for being the backbone. NHS you rock. As I was saying …. We can choose to waste our time or we can be super focused now, and think about some of the things we will / can change to make for a better life.

My challenge to you, get out the pen and paper and start brain storming. ‘I WILL’. (doesn’t have to be big, start small and build). I’m super determined not to let my exercise routine go to pot. There’s no netball, and no choir. But, I have a brain and a wonderful imagination. So today I’m building a hop scotch in my hall way. A different type of exercise and my daughter can join in. And I’ll be doing some calligraphy. I’ve made a list of things I can do (if I want to), whilst in isolation and if I should get bored I’ll go to sleep, rest and recoup and allow my body to do some extra healing. I hate ironing with a passion but I will be doing a couple of bits every other day. Or I may watch a film whilst I iron.

I encourage everyone to use this time as an absolute gift because we are incredible beings and because we have this in our power. Help someone else, call someone, check in and see how someone is doing. Take the first step don’t wait for things to come to you. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and we can make this time an extra ordinary time of our lives. Be kind to others and to your self. Stay safe 😷. If you’ve enjoyed reading this please share and give a thumbs up.