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Here in the UK and other parts of Europe, it is Black History Month. Last week I attended a fire chat chat with the RACE network at EDF. I was asked a few questions, and I share 3 of them here.

Why do I think the theme Saluting our sisters was chosen?

My response and reflection, and borrowing from the words of the artist Lizzo, ‘it’s about damn time!’ It’s overdue here in the UK. The hidden figures are hidden no more. For me, it’s about recognising all the voices that have been silenced and ignored for decades. For the many women who have helped shape our families and communities and our world. Covered for our men in times of war and other tribulations. For the many outstanding contributions made to science, medicine, technology, beauty, fashion, sport and law, it’s time to salute them all.

Who do I salute, past and present, and why?

My mum – who died when I was 30 years old. In those 30 years, she instilled in me some great values. She was a proud Jamaican woman, always listening to Radio 4, and reading a broadsheet once a week. She took action and wrote to MPs lobbying them about the lack of provisions for my autistic brother Malcolm.  She wrote letters to Neil Kinnock, and Sir Bernard Weatherall, who was the speaker of the house at one time.  She had style and poise. She was kind and would say, ‘Give a portion to 6 as well as 7’. She was careful not to leave anyone out. She believed in me, and we all need that.

The Hidden Figures – Katherine Johnson mastermind and mathematician. Dorothy Vaughn, who was the first black ‘acting’ supervisor with NASA and Mary Jackson an engineer who fought segregation to be educated.   All had to fight, and find the courage, to earn their place in a male-dominated and white industry. I love their personal story, and the sisterhood they formed offered support for each other and paved the way for others. They made history against the odds.

Michelle LaVaugn Obama – The first black lady in the white house, who I believe carried out her role with such aplomb. When her harsh critics went low, she went high. During this time, she was raising her 2 daughters and had her mother by her side. She took a career break and supported her husband. That for me is a super role model.

My daughters Grace and Alicya and my niece Kellina.

I salute them for the children they were, the young ladies they became and for the women they are. They keep me young and fresh.

What does black sisterhood mean to me?

When I think about my sisterhood, I feel pretty blessed.  My sisterhood is an eclectic mix of women from many countries and nationalities and come in various hews. My early sisterhood in the workplace was white women, as I was the only black or brown woman for quite some years. These sisters were my mentors and allies, and many are now friends.

My Black sisterhood is Everything. I did get a bit emotional when I was thinking about this because it’s a deep bond. It’s Jan Inc.  My board members.  It’s a safe haven filled with love, understanding, humour, wisdom, support and brutal honesty.

This sisterhood has carried me when I couldn’t do for myself – those Jonah moments – becoming an orphan, other bereavements, getting married, divorced, new jobs, promotions, no promotion, pregnancy, birth, juggling the school run, bad news, great news, children leaving home, menopause, operations, sickness and so much more.

It’s a place where I know that I am valued and celebrated for being me, even when some yearly appraisals say something different. During times of positive exclusion and being overlooked. It’s a place where I can be unapologetically me, Jamaican patois and all! It’s home.  A place of deep faith and prayer, there is love, empathy, respect, comfort, support and advice. It’s uplifting with laugh-out-loud moments, you know, the deep belly laughs with tears streaming down your face.  Food for the body, soul, mind and spirit.  There’s nothing quite like it.

To all my ladies, I take this opportunity to salute you. Be you, black, white, brown, bronze, beige, ink, jet, ebony, hazel, tan, cappuccino, onyx, alabaster, cream, porcelain, ivory, coffee – you get the picture? I salute you all because my life would not be as wonderful and rich as it is without you. Happy Black History Month, Menopause Day and all the other special days this month.

*** Please leave a comment on how we first met ***

For those of you who know me, will know that i’ve been a huge fan of Robin Sharma for many years. I’ve completed some of his courses and have a lot of his books. For me, his words always resonate.

I’m sharing the following , enjoy.

It’s so very simple yet ever so rarely practiced: the secret to staying inspired is to avoid those things that de-inspire you.

That means that, each and every day—for the remainder of your gorgeous and valuable life—you:

—avoid people who bring you down
—avoid activities that drain your hope
—avoid books and shows that steal your joy
—avoid thoughts that degrade your game
—avoid places that make you feel bad

Personally, reading uplifting words fuels my inspiration dramatically [this ritual also causes your dopamine levels to surge nicely].

And so—in the spirit of sincere service—I’ve opened my heart to write an inspirational piece for you to review as part of your 5AM Club morning routine.

Here we go…

Go out into this cruel and beautiful world with a heart full of heroism and eyes set to witness the full glory of your powers.

Yes, some seasons will bring misfortune and some times will be hard.

Yet, there is much good in daily life. Neighbors who appreciate you, friends who enliven you and family that adores you.

When it comes to those who wish less than your dreams for you, know they know not what they do. Send them the good wishes that reflect your patience. And the kind understanding that displays your sincere forgiveness. It is a bold act of honor and strength to keep good feelings towards all others within you.

Work richly and with dignity, giving more than you receive and producing the magic that honours your maker. And respects your genius.

Keep your life simple, as an addiction to acquisition and deep craving for more can stifle your spirit and hurt your good heart.

Give more than you take. Be more helpful than is necessary. And treat each person you meet with decency. This is a route to inner peace and outer success.

Enjoy the company of wise people, the companionship of inspiring books and a healthy relationship with your finest self.

When the crowd seeks to make you like them, stay true to your path—leading by your virtues and the values that feel most real to you.

Remain daring, knowing that the meek and timid do not know the soaring flights that come by leaning into your fears. To postpone the life of your ideals is to invite regret into your days.

Remember that terror is closer to triumph than complacency. And that fear becomes faith when you walk into it.

Enjoy the fruits of your labor and the accolades of your masterwork. Now.

Love gently, respecting all around you and the earth that nourishes you.

Beautifully said Mr Sharma, thank you.

I’m reading a little book of Hope by Joanna Gray. Hope is a word I use often, and I borrow these words from Joanna ‘it’a like an invisible friend and a path through difficult times’

For whoever needs it this morning, keep Hope alive. Happy Sunday

Starting life from humble beginnings, the butterfly has long been a symbol of hope. Just as the lowly caterpillar emerges from its cocoon a new, magnificent creature, so, too will you emerge stronger from your darkest moments.

Trust and believe

Stay blessed x

As a Life Coach, my practice is filling up, and I thank the lord for that.

There are some common themes which are emerging and I share the following post with fellow parents.

Dear Parents, God parents and the extended village …

There are some conversations and topics which in 2023 are still deemed tabooed. Unless we are willing to talk about them openly and honestly, within the family circle, however uncomfortable they make us feel, we will never grow, things won’t change and the youngsters in our lives will continue to be ignorant of facts and consequences.

The reasons for not tabling some of these issues is fear, shame and not wanting to be venerable. Having to admit that we haven’t achieved some of the things in life we wanted to. Well it’s that time of life that we have to put on the big gurl and boy draws and dive in.

Our parents wouldn’t discuss and many things were brushed under the carpet or a blind eye turned. Apparently big people business!!! The consequences is people in mid life are having a royal midlife crisis and meltdown, crisis of identity, crisis of carrying all that baggage, secrets and stuff for decades.

Free our minds and the rest will follow. Don’t be trapped and caged by the past. Owning up to our sh1% is imperative, most of us did the best we could with what we knew and had, no man or woman is perfect. Too many of our young ones are suffering in silence and out loud.

As a parent and mother, I KNOW I have been complicit to some rubbish in the past and in my nieavity or not having the courage at the time allowed things to slide for a easier moment in life, but at what cost??

It’s a new day and a new dawn, lets commit to doing better than our parents because we can and because it’s the right thing to do.

Frankly I couldn’t care less if my children are gay, yep I said it. I would rather they come and talk to me about it than take their own life, the life I carried for 9 months and bore much pain to bring into this world. If as a friend you are going to stop talking to me or criticise me, that’s cool trust and believe I can deal with that. My children are worth more than a weak friendship.

If my children don’t want to get married that’s thier decisions, don’t want children so what. (Although I’d love grand children, just saying). Some of the things parents are focused on is not important in the scheme of things.
Ask the question is my child/children happy? are they thriving in their own way? Not OUR way thier way.

I say, swallow the pride and say sorry for not doing what we should have done or said in the moment. Say sorry for wrongs committed willingly and unwillingly, knowingly and unknowing. I hear people say it was not my intention, that’s not how I meant it, however the impact is real and lasting. Many times it’s not what we say, it’s how we say it and the tone used. As humans we can say some cruel things to our children and try to pass it off as a joke, if they are not laughing it’s probably not funny.

Too many young people are in a state right now, help where we can. These are serious times. I don’t want to loose another child because they could see no way out.

I’d rather weep now, big old ugly snotty tears now in the moment, for a day, a week or a month than having to console a parent or crying at a grave side. It takes a village to raise children make it a priority to talk with them rather than about them. Enquire what’s front of mind for them, simple listen and love them.

Remember no one gave us a manual on how to raise our children, no one told us if they were introvert or extrovert, some of them are damn hard work, we’ve had to make it up as we went along. So be gentle and compassionate with ourselves. Not so good parents it’s never too late to change and be better and do better. Good parents be even better, our kids need us more than ever.

Have a beautiful day and a productive week. If you see someone who doesn’t have a smile why not give them yours.

One ❤️
Jan xx